Providence On Foot

you don’t get to treat me like that for 9 years and then sunbathe in my driveway.  that is a thing you don’t get to do.  you wanna know what it will take for me to forgive you? i have to want to or care to.  i don’t forgive you because you mean nothing to me. fuck off.

and if you ever bring him on my property again, we’re done. i don’t care if he’s your cousin and if you didn’t intend for it to happen.  you should have stopped and diverted him to your own damn house.

when literally everyone is congratulating me on getting you out of my life, i wonder why i let you stay so long

can i just say, i love my life?

i had a friend over who brought a friend who just got back from recording an album in france.  so we listened to it, it was awesome, i’m blown away. 

i just love the hell out of my life.  we were the 4th and 5th americans to hear it at all, its so so good.  regardless of if anything ever happened for this very talented woman, i got to share in her joy of sharing her accomplishment.  

and thats enough for me.  i love it.  i get so much joy in basking in others joys.  fucking awesome.

i just cut an eyeballed recipe in quarter, and it still came out perfect. just the right amount of peanut butter filling to the right amount of chocolate, with little left over.  this is what winning feels like.

blogofimpossiblethings:

@dreamsphoto said: I’ve got an empty couch in rhode island for ya! (btw, hi! Its been a while, i’m not on tumblr often anymore, but hope things are going well for you! your new icon is adorbz)

Oh my goodness, it’s been forever, girl!! How the heck are you? Where have you been?!

i’m doing well!  i’ve gotten super busy with work over the last year, and it leaves me little time for tumblr.  i’m really happy, enjoying the hell out of my life.  i have been undergoing some personal shit too, but overall, i am really pleased with where i’m at.  my job is also very very social, ,whhich means i have days where i’m not alone for 10 hours of my 12 hours of availability.  this timee last year i had more days with 2 hours of workrk and 10 of free  time.

sory my keyboard is flipping out and i don’t know why and am too tired to investigate :)

small things i’ve been doing in life:

a friend has started a yoga class once a week, so i’m going to my second tomorrow

i kicked a freeloader out of my life, and now have a bit more cash around… funny how that works

i joined a couple dating sites, but have only had one date.  i’m optimistic though.  however i am very impatient, and lose interest quickly in the guys who take forever to message me back with one word replys.  was “yea” that hard to come uip with?

i’ve gotten closer with my neighbors and we now have dinner we create together at least once a week.

i have made an awesome friend who drops by my house unannounced, and that’s one of my favorite things (just don’t tell my customers!)

i took my amazing trip, haven’t shut up about it since, especially with all the pictures as my screensaver.  already planning my next (much shorter, smaller) trip. (colorado in august)

learned to make profiteroles today.  they weren’t as hard as i worried!

so yeah, life has been keeping me away from tumblr as it is rare i have an hour or so to scroll. i loved the time i spent here and i come back but don’t get to see all thats going on in peoples lives like i used to and feel out of whack, so i stay away more, and that’s not great but its how it goes…

but when i do get on here and i see all your happy names and icons i send thoughts of love and happyness to you (and all my friends here)

i really hate the days i wake up hours early with thoughts of shitty shit first and foremost on my mind. pushing the thoughts away takes it all out of me and the rest of the day i’m a shell of myself.

today is probably going to suck

you know, it’s not what you did that makes me sad.  it’s that i let you.  what does that say about me?

sometimes when you see then end of a friendship happening, it’s all sad and people are sad and tell you nice things about the other person and you feel bad about not wanting to be their friend anymore.

and sometimes you find out they had called you “cheapo”.  really dude?  really?  how much money do you owe me?  oh right, you don’t even know.  i stop giving you all everything you want, and now i’m cheap.  i owe you nothing.  nothing.  noone gets to call me cheap, i’m one of the most generous people i fucking know.  and you of all people have been soaking up my generosity for over a year.  it’s done now.  

friendship is like a battery.  it should give you a charge.  when the charge is gone, what the fuck is the point?  

finally saying the things that need to be said is both cathartic and horrible. 

i am happy to help, but what you want is for me to take care of you.  you need to learn to take care of yourself.  and the method you’ve chosen, of having others do everything for you, isn’t working.  at least, not for the others.  you’re old enough to have learned how to cope with this stuff on your own.  i take care of children, i help adults.  you’re not a child, so stop asking me to take care of you, and calling it help…

haven’t unfriended her because it takes too much effort, but when you post a picture of food we made for you and make a crack about diabetes, i’m done.  we fucking made that for you you jerk.  fuck off with your judgements.  at least i don’t have to see them anymore….

he attempted a booty call last night.  i was down, but he was drunk and got lost.  but still a good shot to the ego :D

What I want to say:

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